Since I'm stuck, mumbling and grumbling to myself as I anxiously await Saturday's webcast of the Timbers/Whitecaps with Vancouver's Peter Schaad at the controls, I might as well share my thoughts on the season's first road trip, since that was the original premise of this blog. With no firsthand knowledge this time around, I can't help but wonder what will take place when the bus begins to roll up I-5 this afternoon...
Will Vern be back in the role of coach captain and will he be wearing his magic vest?
Will the rides first viewing of Van Wilder begin before or after the bus leaves the parking lot?
Which player(s) will forget his passport/green card/birth certificate?
How many times will Earl's be mentioned to the new guys on the ride up?
Will Vern speed away from the border again, setting off the alarm?
How many extra security guards will the Whitecaps employ to keep an eye on the Timbers Army?
How many goals will Timbers' killer Jason Jordan score?
How many annoying celebrations by Alfredo Valente will the Army have to endure?
How many cheap shots will Hugo recieve and deliver over the course of 90 minutes on the Swangard pitch?
Will Chris Agnello sit or stand for the bulk of the match?
Will Gavin be confused for a member of a children's musical troupe?
Oh, there's plenty more, but I do have a real job to get back to.
RIP: JT, Bobby, Romer, Tony, Benny, Winters, Aaron, Aaran, Sam, Dizzy, Higgins, Fadi, Shawn, Jarrod and Shonna
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