Not So Friendly Skies

Here's a brief recap of what's happened thus far on this travel day...

2:30 a.m. - Wakeup!
3:00 a.m. - Leave for PDX
5:00 a.m. - Arrive at PDX, check in for 6:20 a.m. flight to Minneapolis on Frontier Airlines
5:45 a.m. - Flight delayed until 7 a.m.
5:50 a.m. - Flight delayed until 11 a.m. and no longer going all the way to Minny (stopping in Denver, but not going on as originally scheduled)
6:00 a.m. - Began process of attempting to rebook through gate, desk and Timbers travel agent for flights on other airlines.
8:00 a.m. - Sprint to United counter to catch a 8:19 flight. Denied boarding as we were too late.
8:30 a.m. - Half the team hustles to the Northwest Counter for a 8:50 flight direct to Minny. Denied boarding - too late once again.
9:30 a.m. - Forced to wait until at least 11:30 to fly on Frontier to Denver (with no guarantee that will happen). Best case scenario has us arriving in the Twin Cities at 7:05 p.m., 5 1/2 hours late.

So much for the team's scheduled training session at 5 p.m. today. Evidently Frontier Airlines has one airplane and when it breaks, everyone booked to travel on that given day is screwed. They don't partner with any other airlines, thus giving them zero pull when it comes to booking passengers on other flights in order to make connections. This one guy in line at 5:45 a.m. was told that they could put him on a series of flights to get him from Portland to Indianapolis arriving at 8:30 a.m. on Saturday - 26 hours and 45 minutes later! If he starts driving his car now, he'll be there sooner than that.

I'd heard horror stories about Frontier prior to this trip, and having never flown the airline, shook them off. Now I know. So much for the baseball tickets I secured for tonight's Twins/Indians game at the Metrodome, featuring Cy Young winner Johan Santana and C.C. Sabathia. Curses!

As if the trip to Seattle on Wednesday wasn't bad enough! The Boys need to take care of the Thunder and capture three points (assuming we arrive by game time) or this trip has the potential of rivaling the Seattle/Vancouver bus debacle of a couple years back.

2:15 AM 118 Miles to Go

The Timbers' bus continues to roll along at nearly half past 2 a.m., turning onto I-26 for the final 120 miles to Charleston. The coach is about half and half, in terms of people awake and asleep. I attempted sleep for about 15 minutes, but it was utterly and completely useless. Looks like I'm up for the duration and will powersnooze the second my head hits the pillow at our awaiting Sheraton.

This winning business has become quite routine, wouldn't you say? Seven straight Ws and 10 in a row without a loss is remarkable. The USL engraver can begin etching Gavin's name onto the Coach of the Year plaque now if he/she hasn't already. Worst to first, all but guaranteed a spot in the playoffs and and threating to achieve the best record in team history (USL). Good gravy.

A win later today against the Battery and I'm mortgaging my house for a pallet of lottery tickets.

We're on our third movie so far in the bus. I think the first one was called The Protector II or something like that, followd by Old School and Wedding Crashers. Van Wilder can't be far off.

The stretch between Atlanta and Charleston has to have more Waffle Houses and Hooters than any other stretch of blacktop in the country. They love their greasy spoons and, ummmmm, hot wings (?) here in Dixie.

That's all for now. Hopefully, I won't sleep the entire day away and have a chance to roam the city before the match.

Cheers!

Tonight's Starting Lineup

It's about 45 minutes from kickoff and here's tonight's starting 11 for the Ax Men. No surprises-

Wicks
S. Thompson
Knowles
J. Thompson
Griffin
Olum
Poltl
Lara
Higgins
Jordan
Bagley

The drawing is what Atlanta hopes the stadium eventually looks like. As you might suspect, it looks nothing like that yet - very Spartan to say the least. But the pitch is nice, seating views are great and you can see the potential.

Best get ready for the broadcast...

Illsutration courtesy of www.atlantasilverbacks.com

ATTR in the A-T-L

Greetings from Hotlanta. Surprisingly, the weather is rather nice in the southeastern U.S. for this time of year, making Warmlanta a more appropriate handle today.

The Timbers are in great spirits, coming off Thursday's landmark victory against NW nemesis Vancouver (first 'W' since 2004). Tonight's opponent should be a tough test for an undermanned PTFC squad, but the confidence level of this group is at a season-high. Hopefully, that will carry them through to a point or better despite playing without Gregor (yellow card points) and only three field players in reserve.

If you're looking to figure out who those players may be, the travel squad is as follows for this trip: Wicks, S. Thompson, Knowles, J. Thompson, Griffin, Olum, Poltl, Gregor, Higgins, Jordan, Bagley, Elfvin, Hague, Lara, Dombrowski and Morrison.

Following the match tonight, we'll board a charter bus around 10:30 p.m. and begin the 320-mile trek to Charleston, S.C. Should be another daybreak arrival ala Montreal to Rochester earlier this season. That resulted in one of the Ax Men's two defeats this season, so tonight does hold a tad bit of importance. Regardless, the Timbers will return to Portland in first place on Monday any way you slice it.

Cheers!

And Away We Go

Three matches, four days, 3,000 miles, planes, buses and automobiles. This is a test of the Timbers Competitive System. This is only a test...

Well, yes and no. A home match against unbeatable Vancouver (at least for Portland since 2004) tonight, followed by road games in Atlanta and Charleston on Saturday and Sunday will feel more like a four-day SAT. Looking on the bright side, the Timbers have put themselves in a situation - first place in USL-1 on 30 points through 14 matches - where this long weekend is more hell-like and uncomfortable than critical. Remember, this team was dead last in 2006. Anything better than a playoff berth in '07 is gravy.

Don't get me wrong, the team isn't looking at things that way. But that's reality, right?

Make sure to set your DVRs as tonight's match will be carried on FOX Sports Net. They were even plugging it on the Mariners' broadcast last night!

Cheers-

Checking In

Yeah, I know. The Ax was on the Road last Saturday in San Francisco, yet nary a blog. Mom, please except my most sincere apology, but when you only have 22 hours to work with on a trip to San Francisco, blogging ranks slightly down on the list of things to do.

One thing near the top of the list was heading to The Haight for a photo op at 710 Ashbury, once occupied by the Grateful Dead during the Summer of Love and beyond. The pad once raided by the Feds appeared more suited for yuppies than hippies and had no distinctive markings to signal the amount of groovin' that must have gone on there.

Nik Wald, the Ax Men's cut man, came along for the 'trip' and we each dropped the bulk of our per diem on used discs at Amoeba before trekking the 2.5 miles (downhill) back to the Holiday Inn.

The big news of the trip, obviously, was another Timbers' win; this time racking up three goals while posting their third straight clean sheet. Will California ever score against Portland? We'll find out when the two sides play the final two matches of the season series this weekend at PGE Park.

It's fitting that the offensive outburst took place shortly after a thread on talktimbers.com
took aim at the Boys for perceived lucky results and poor forward play. This team may not have the firepower up top of years past (years other than '06, of course), but they don't mask their weaknesses and are still finding success. In the past, the offense often covered flaws in other areas until a scoring drought exposed them. This team is more balanced defensively and in the midfield, and that is clearly an important part of the recipe for succeeding in USL-1.

Timber Jim Bobble Head Night is just two days away! Cheers-

Timbers Seek Victory Times Three

Quite a finish the other night at PGE Park with the late game-winning goal and all. I'm really glad that I made a point of including "on paper" when referring to Miami as mediocre in the post just prior to kickoff. They are vertically challenged to be sure, but far from mediocre based on what we saw Saturday.

The Timbers and California Victory can thank USL1 dropout Virginia Beach for the wretched triumvirate they are about to embark on. Three straight matches between two sides that don't really like one another a whole lot to begin with is a recipe for mayhem come the second half of the third and final tilt. To make the last matchup even more fun is the fact that the same referee who whistled the U.S. Open Cup match between Portland and Seattle will be charged with keeping the peace.

We're off to NorCal Saturday morning at the crack of dawn and the ATTR hopes to take a stroll to The Haight for lunch and a trip to Amoeba Music. I'll look to avoid anything with mushrooms in order to make sure the broadcast is somewhat coherent. You can tune in at www.portlandtimbers.com and make sure to click the listen button even if the graphic shows the next game up there instead of the one taking place that night (glitch in the coding).

Until the coffee flows at PDX, cheers.

Miami Hits PDX

We're just about 10 minutes away from air time (portlandtimbers.com) as the Timbers will be going after their first-ever result against Miami FC. The team was in great spirits yesterday morning on the flight back from San Francisco and they could do themselves a huge favor by capturing three points against what appears to be (on paper) a rather mediocre Miami squad.

FC will be starting a newcomer in goal who will be making the first USL-1 start of his career. Portland will try to put him under early pressure, starting with a 4-4-3 formation that is essentially the same 11 players who were on the pitch at the end of Thursday's win.

Join us on the IM tonight, screen name is timbersradio

Until then...

Another Early Day

So far, so good on our brief 24-hour trip to the Bay Area. Last night's match result might pay big dividends later in the season as the Timbers snatched an extra two points on David Hague's goal in the 89th minute to snap a 0-0 tie.

This is the first-ever ATTR post from an exclusive United Red Carpet Club. Let's just say I have connections... Actually, this trip puts me over 100,000 miles flown on United. So far no bells or whistles have gone off in the airport. I guarantee I'm the only one in this club at the moment that drove to the airport packed in a minivan with six other people and all of their baggage.

Miami lost at Seattle last night, meaning they should be rather desperate. The Boys appear ready to get the job done as they remain relatively healthy. Some home cooking certainly won't hurt either.

Boarding time. Until tomorrow - Cheers.

Nearing Match Time

We're about 30 minutes out from tonight's kickoff between the Timbers and California at historic Kezar Stadium in San Francisco. Just a word of warning to our normal listening audience that the pregame and halftime segments will not be anywhere near our normal standard as uberproducer John Strong has NBA Draft duty tonight and I'm without a certain cable necessary for running prerecorded audio. If there is such thing as an "Old School" webcast, it will happen here in the Bay tonight.

Tonight's starters for PDX...
Wicks, S. Thompson, J. Thompson, Knowles, Griffin, Poltl, Kreamalmeyer, Higgins, Gregor, Jordan and Bagley.

On The Road Again

Who doesn't love a 3:35 a.m. wakeup call?! Yes, the Ax is heading out on the road again; this time to San Francisco for a battle with the California Victory.

It's been a whirlwind week for yours truly as I traveled to New Mexico for a wedding, returned home for a day-plus, jaunted off to Seattle for the Open Cup showdown with the Sounders (who may or may not have advanced had it not been for a very curious red card call late in the first half), took in a Red Sox game at Safeco Field, got four hours of sleep at the in-laws before heading off to PDX for a day-of game 6 a.m. flight.

This is going to be quite a test for the Timbers. I'm not confidant that we will be able to check in to the hotel until the afternoon, which means weary soccer players in need of rest will be wandering along the docks of the Bay when they should be catching up on some lost Z's.

I've got to say that this is an extremely tolerable bunch as I haven't heard all that much groaning about the travel conditions for today's match. That attitude could change if the unfortunately named Victory blitz them about 13 hours from now, but I don't see that happening.

Time to board. More from SFO later on.

Good morning!

Benvenuto Milano

What appears to be the most anticipated of the Portland Timbers' three "friendlies" this year is upon us with the nearing arrival of AC Milan Primavera at PGE Park. As always with these sorts of affairs, let's hope for an entertaining event without injury.

Exhibition matches against clubs from other leagues are always challenging from a prediction standpoint. Will it be even, fairly even, lopsided, etc. Tonight's matchup is particularly difficult to peg. With AC Milan attached to this junior side's moniker, they are given instant credibility. But a squad of teenagers playing thousands of miles from home on the bizarre NeXturf surface at PGE Park may as well be playing on the moon.

On the other hand, many of these Italian lads are the future best and brightest (albeit youthful) from one of the most storied clubs in the world. They are all a phone call away from joining the current Champions League victor. Could they be so technically superior that the average USL-1 reserve squad starting 11 gets embarrassed in front of their home crowd? Or will the final result appear as if the Timbers played Alyssa Milano instead?

Word to the wise: Don't google Alyssa Milano in a public place and hit the images tab.

What will be Portland's starting lineup tonight? With a league match on Thursday, you can bet we won't see the regulars playing 90 minutes. But I'd guess most of them see some action in order to knock the rust off from another 10-day stretch away from meaningful competition.

Speaking of Thursday's match - it will be called by my uberproducer John Strong as I head to New Mexico for a family wedding. John entered the real world a few days back and will get to see a really good side in Montreal. The Timbers will look for a win at home, but I'd gladly take a point and call the season series good at 1-0-1.

In second round U.S. Open Cup news, the ATTR will be making the trip up to Starfire for next Tuesday's showdown with Seattle. Unlike round one, the match will be carried live (audio only) at portlandtimbers.com.

Well, I'd better get my game face on. Ciao-

Image courtesy MLB.com

On our way home

Chalk up the first real road trip of the season as a solid performance by the Boys in Green. Three points out of Montreal and Rochester is more than respectable.

We left our luxury digs this morning 5:30 and are currently laying over in Chicago. It's really ashame that this O'Hare place can't drum up any air business. What a zoo. The gates seem to be designed to seat less than half of the actual number of scheduled passengers on a full flight, so we moved across the concourse to the gate for a flight to Shanghai, and now most of those passengers have to trespass at a different gate.

Several lads are attempting to catch up on sleep - I doubt anyone got more than five or six hours in a row during this entire trip. I feel bad for the rest of the crew as they will have less than a day at home and leave for Southern California at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning. Can't say I'm heartbroken not to be heading out on that trip to face Bakersfield in the U.S. Open Cup.

The troops are mobilizing, so we must be approaching boarding time. That will do it for the ATTR on this trip. Thanks for tuning in!

Rochester Prematch

The ATTR checks in from Paetec Park in downtown Rochester. Blue skies above, temps in the low 70s and the Rhinettes (just a guess) dance team is getting a talk from their coach as they struggle to perfect routines.

It appears as though we have arrived before many of the home team players. They had a 3 a.m. wakeup call in Carolina this morning after playing in stifling heat, so they may still be dragging some. According to their radio man, they may be a bit nicked up as well from last night's draw.

Look for a similar starting 11 tonight with the possibility of Tom Taylor breaking into it. Portland's reserves did a tremendous job in the late stages of the second half last night and have really set up the team well to take on this grueling task of two matches in less than 24 hours.

For the second straight night I'm outside of the press box, but the weather should cooperate (touch wood). This is quite a little soccer only grounds and will be even more so once they receive the state funding they have been promised to complete the first phase of construction.

I'm sure John Strong is getting a bit nervous so I'll end her and dial him up to get ready for the broadcast.

Stay classy Timbers fans.

Welcome to Rochester

At 6:30 this morning, 90 minutes after first sunlight, our Montreal motor coach driver Lucy finally steered the metal beast into the parking lot of the RIT Inn, a dank 1.5 star lodging facility well outside the Rochester city limits. This was at least 30 minutes later than it should have been thanks to a wrong turn off the exit. Evidently, the RIT address didn't exist on Lucy's GPS unit, so Chris Bagley pulled a MacGyver and reprogrammed the unit using his New England smahhhts to get us to the motel.

I'm thinking of using my PR skills to rewrite the RIT brochure.

Escape the hustle and bustle of the city at our outdated, musty brick estate. Nestled along a highway to nowhere, next to vacant buildings and auto glass repair shops, you'll be able to relax and unwind in virtual isolation. Upon your arrival, you'll be guided to the reception area by overflowing trash cans. Once inside, gently step over the passed out Major League Lacrosse players in the lobby and breath in the acrid scent of two-hour old vomit...

After the keys to the room didn't work, my roomie Nik went back to the front desk to get new ones. Shocker - those didn't work either, so it was my turn to go up to the desk. This time we were given the "master" key. When that didn't work, Gavin went up for us and had them switch us to a different room. That room had only one bed, so it was back to reception for a fourth time. Finally, around 7:30 a.m., I slid into bed. By this point, it could have been a bed of worms and I probably would have been able to sleep.

So here we are at last - awake and 90 minutes away from leaving for the grounds. Remarkably, everyone appears in good spirits. Last night's win certainly took some pressure off, but Gavin will work to have everyone as focused and prepared as possible. Rochester will be in nearly the same boat from a travel standpoint. After drawing Carolina last night in N.C., the Rhinos had a 4:30 a.m. flight back home this morning.

Cheers for now and Go Timbers!

Are You Kidding Me?

Oh, what a night. And now at 3:22 a.m., what a morning. The Timbers picked up a HUGE victory tonight, slaying the last unbeaten team in the first division and now go into today's match with Rochester with one win already in the bag. It wasn't textbook: Being out-shot 15-4 and all, but a win is a win is a win.

And at this moment, we're experiencing the other side of USL-1 soccer: Middle of the night bus travel across borders! Wow, would this be a miserable trek had the match outcome gone the other way. We just made it through the Canadian/US border and have a tidy three-plus hours remaining. Ah ,the eastern Sunrise from a stripped down Greyhound bus! I figured if I was going to blog prior to Saturday's kickoff, it would have to be now as I'll be sleeping from the time we arrive at the hotel until we leave for the stadium.

But back to the match. For those who read the earlier post, you've probably figured out the riddle (Lara on the left, Gregor under Bagley, Dombrowski and Poltl in the midfield). How fitting that lightning struck right as Gregor buried the PK?

We just passed our first car in two hours on some deserted highway in upstate New York. This one will go down in Timbers road trip history. The only other time we arrived on the end of a bus ride after sunrise was a hell-ride from Kelowna, B.C. to Portland after a merciless beatdown by the Vancouver Whitecaps. So yes, this one isn't as bad but no less cruel and unusual.

Laptop...battery...dying...must...disconnect............

People Watching on Saint Catherine Street

In a couple of hours the minivans will be headed to the stadium for pregame training, but for now I'm planted in a coffee shop on one of Montreal's famous thoroughfares. It doesn't appear that anyone in this city works for a living, outside of restaurant and cafe personnel.

The streets are nearly overflowing with tourists due to the upcoming F1 Grand Prix race on Sunday. I've seen more Ferrari's in the past 18 hours than the past 18 years. French-Canadians, in their longing to be actual Europeans, love their Formula One.

Plenty of interesting characters to watch on what has become a very warm afternoon.

The Timbers will be wearing their green kits tonight on global TV (Fox Soccer Channel) and yellow on Saturday in Rochester. If you're watching the broadcast on FSC, please give us a click on the audio side at portlandtimbers.com.

Portland will have a different 11 tonight than recent matches, but I don't want to give The Impact any advantages in preparation, so you'll have to try and decipher this clue:

Thunder rolls toward the West while lightning strikes south of Boston. Skiing and surfing happen in the heartland.

Cheers and good luck.

Of Montreal

It's hazy and warm here in Quebec's largest metropolis. As I type this, we are about seven hours and change away from kickoff against the Montreal Impact - the First Division's last unbeaten team. Facing the Impact on their home pitch is never an easy draw, but after California (of all teams) win against the mighty Vancouver Whitecaps last night, it serves as just another reminder that any team can achieve a quality result on any given night.

The team is currently out for a stretch and walk to shake off any jet lag. The 17 that are here are healthy and should be more than ready to go after an 11-day hiatus.Thankfully, the match will be played on grass at Claude-Robillard Sports Complex and not at Montreal's much more famous venue, Olympic Stadium, which makes the turf at PGE park look and feel like a lush Bermuda fairway.

I'll need to add more later as we have to be out of our hotel rooms in an hour, left to wander the city for the rest of the afternoon before heading to the match.

Photo credit to David Holden

Bienvenue au Montreal

It's been 13 hours and 25 minutes of travel and the ATTR is firmly on the ground in Montreal, clicking away from the Holiday Inn Express in the Centre-Ville section of the city.

As USL-1 roadies go, we had relatively seamless travel today. Of course, as is standard procedure at this level, we had to wait about an hour after getting our bags before cramming 20 adult males into three minivans. It must look like a bad circus act to the other air travelers to witness this procession. I've clearly been spoiled by my full-time gig working for the Pac-10 Oregon Ducks, where charter buses and four-star hotels are standard fare. But hey, United has switched back to Coke products, which was an outstanding surprise.

My apologies as there was no time for an update from Dulles in the nation's capitol. We had just enough time to grab a bite to eat and listen to the life story of a soldier from Coos Bay, who was shipping off to Frankfurt for final training before heading to Iraq to guard Saddam's former palace. He seemed like a nice enough guy and gave us $36 in food script from United Airlines. He'll be an officer by the time he reaches Baghdad, something his drill sergeant was convinced he didn't have the makeup for. After spending 20 minutes with him I sadly had the same feeling, but he said there was a shortage of officers and as long as he passed a couple of tests it was a done deal.

But enough dire reality, already. This is a road trip involving sports! The Timbers will likely have a new look in their starting 11 come Friday night. Not on the travel squad this trip are Troy Ready and David Hague, while Kiki Lara is. Could this mean more time for Kiki in the midfield? Time will tell.

Well, it's time to get out of my rumpled travel clothes and prepare for some dining out French-Canadian style. Bonsoir.

Road Trip #1

Here we go again. It's been too long between actual Portland Timbers road trips for the Ax to the Road, but I'm happy to report we're back up and running for 2007.

I left ATTR headquarters in Eugene this a.m. at 4:21 and made it to the United counter here at PDX by the required team check-in time of 6:20. That included a car drop off at an off-airport lot and shuttle ride, so not too shabby on the travel time front. I was lucky enough to have a partner in speed up I-5 this morning that happily led the way.

Lots of groggy faces here in the airport. Our party is 20 members: 17 players, Gavin, Nik Wald (athletic trainer) and myself. Our first leg is PDX to Washington D.C., so we bite off quite a big chunk right off the bat. Departure time is 7:50 a.m.

I'm thankful to be able to blog today as I nearly lost a digit last night playing coed softball. I moved in a bit from shortstop with a woman at the plate, which she clearly didn't appreciate, and she proceeded to smoke a screaming liner at me that caught a good portion of the thumb on my bare hand. After I promptly picked up the ball and fired it into a field beyond the first baseman, our pitcher/coach turns to be and says, "Are you going to be able to type tomorrow?" I don't think he is an ATTR subscriber, but it was exactly what I was thinking as I examined my numb and swollen paw.

Well, Nik just said he'd tell the pilots to wait for me, so I must conclude post No. 1 and head to the gate.

Until Dulles.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Yes, the date is June 6, which happens to be 45 days from the season-opening victory against Puerto Rico. Why does that number matter? Because on the 46th day, the Timbers will board a plane for the first time in 2007. That's pretty incredible.

And what it means is that the stakes are raised from this point forward, as the always challenging USL-1 will become even more so for the Boys in Green. But the most important development resulting from this is the Ax truly returning to the Road for the first time since 2005.

So prepare to be peppered with tales of airport salads, press box antics, etc.

Until tomorrow...

Game Day

Ah, it's match day once again.

I'm currently going through my prematch routine which includes a coffee shop stop, opponent research and general people watching. Before Friday's game, a gaggle of high school kids were loitering and smoking cigs (have of whom clearly weren't inhaling), and today, sitting in the same chairs at the same tables were about eight police officers. Guess they were about 48 hours late to write up some tobacco use violations.

Tonight should be interesting with a Carolina team fresh off their unlikely win up at Swangard Stadium that ended Vancouver's 16-match unbeaten string. I'm going with 3-1 Timbers.

It's Coming...

The ATTR will return in 2007...

Please check back soon as the Boys in Green embark on their first roadie of the season in less than two weeks...

Unlucky

Early on, during my initial exposure to soccer, I was often perplexed by the use of the term 'unlucky'. It took a while for me not to cringe every time the word was uttered, and I'm still not a fan. You never hear a baseball player say, "Oh that's unlucky," when a teammate swings at a fastball and misses. If he did, the batter would likely chop him down at the knees on the way back to the dugout. But 'unlucky' isn't going away anytime soon in soccer football, so I'll just have to deal with it.

Which brings me to the topic of this post: the number 13. Considered unlucky, 13 is now the current number of teams in USL-1 (Toronto out, California and Carolina in). Having an odd number of teams is nothing new in professional sports, but something just doesn't seem right about 13 teams in the single-table format of USL-1. From a scheduling standpoint, it adds more parity and balance, which is a good thing (sorry Timber fans, no more feasting on Minnesota four times a year). It also means less than half the teams (seven versus six) would qualify for the playoffs, adding more legitimacy to the postseason.

But what if it turns out to be a bad omen? What if one of the 13 sides pulls an Edmonton midseason and bails? What if USL-1 really is unlucky, and not in the patronizing soccer sense? We'll just have to wait and see how it all pans out.

Ax to the Lynx

In a move that should come as no surprise, considering the addition of a Major League Soccer club to Toronto, the USL-1 Lynx are no more. The team will now play in the PDL, a level some would argue they have been playing at for some time.

From the Ax to the Road's standpoint, we're really not that upset with this development. You would think Toronto would be a cool city to visit once a year, but we were never really able to "do" the city. Early on, when the team still played within the city limits, we would be stuck in a hotel on the outskirts of the action. By the end of the Lynx's run, they weren't even playing in Toronto at all, but in a nondescript suburb.

The ATTR's most vivid memories of trips to Toronto include Timbers' goalkeeper Matt Napoleon being so mad at the locker room attendants that he took their cooler and a bunch of towels and hid them in one of our vans after a miserable defeat. Then there was Hugo and Fadi planning a mutiny before a match that came on the heels of a loss at Rochester. And who could forget the junior high rock band attempting to cover Green Day's American Idiot at halftime. Good times.

UO vs. Cal: Live Blog

I understand this is off topic, but from a practice standpoint I'd like to take a stab at the relatively new craze that is Live Blogging. Since my day job is in the University of Oregon athletic department, today's Cal/Oregon match-up is as good a game as any to pound the keyboard to.

Final (24-45): Game? What game? Like the Ducks hopefully will do before touching the tarmac in Eugene, I've already forgotten tonight's result. 4-1, 2-1, not too shabby.

4th Quarter: The Tedford love fest that is ESPN on ABC is less than three minutes from completion.

4th Quarter (24-45): I just missed another Oregon score due to parenting obligations.

4th Quarter (17-45): Hey, at least the Yankees lost today.

4th Quarter: Back to that last post... I couldn't even tell you how Oregon scored its latest points. This blog is quickly deteriorating into a complete sham.

3rd Quarter (17-38): Don't try this at home. No, really, don't try this at home unless you are alone. With crying kids, a new kitten tearing around the house, etc., etc., it's impossible to stay focused on the game. Now as I type this, the baby starts crying...

3rd Quarter (10-38): Where's the mercy rule in college football?

3rd Quarter: The new storyline for the broadcast is the fact that Nate Longshore leaves two tickets for Jessica Simpson for every game.

3rd Quarter: This is the primetime college football game of the weekend and Musburger is telling people to switch over to ESPN to watch highlights of other games. That pretty much says it all.

3rd Quarter (10-31): A gift from the Yellow Bears as they go for the endzone on 3rd and 1 and come up short. Giving up three points on a drive feels like a stop at this point.

3rd Quarter: I'm predicting 42 more points this half. I don't know who will get the bulk of them, but anything fewer than 80 total points in this one would be disappointing.

Halftime: This may be a stretch, but the score really could be 10-7 Ducks at this point. 14 points off turnovers and a punt return for a touchdown are points Oregon could have prevented. On the other hand, I predicted UO would have a 1-2 record through the first three games, so I should really just keep quiet and be happy with a potential 4-1 start going into next week's home game vs. UCLA.

2nd Quarter (10-28): There's the fake I was anticipating... And after another weak run into a pile of players (who is wearing 28 on offense for Oregon tonight?), the Ducks break the plane for six!

2nd Quarter (3-28): Took a break to feed the baby and two more scores go on the board for the Cal Yellow Bears. Oregon looks awful and Cal is playing out of their minds right now.

2nd Quarter: Cal tosses an interception on 1st and goal! This game has the makings of a wild one of Oregon can find some offense on this drive.

2nd Quarter: This is embarrassing. Another INT and Cal is ready to punch it in for a huge lead.

1st Quarter: End of the quarter. UO needs to find a running game.

1st Quarter: It's early, I know, but Oregon must score a touchdown on this drive or this one could be over.

1st Quarter (3-14): If anyone was going to exploit Oregon's secondary, it was going to be Cal. Yikes, that was ugly. From 3rd and 15 to the endzone in two plays.

1st Quarter: Brent Musburger's sidekick just said J-Stew didn't play against Stanford. I guess that was another guy wearing his jersey that went for 168 and two scores.

1st Quarter: The Ducks have a potential momentum-changing possession and need to make the most of it. Not only did that first-play interception give Cal an easy TD, but it essentially gave the Golden Bears first possession in both halves.

1st Quarter: With Reggie Bush gone, Marshawn Lynch is now the top back in the Pac-10. Cal went to him once on this drive and paid the price with a P-U-N-T.

1st Quarter (3-7): I guess that first series INT changed the game plan as Oregon played it safe and elected to take the 3 points.

1st Quarter: Jonathan Stewart just ran into a pile of players for no gain. Incomplete pass means fourth down. Watch for the fake field goal...

1st Quarter: Dixon is working it around. Multiple shots of Ernie Kent in the crowd. And just like that Jordan Kent makes another catch down in the red zone.

1st Quarter: Hey, there's Aubrie! One of the student workers in my department just got some facetime on the ABC broadcast as the camera focused on the UO section. Just don't go all Jenn Sterger on me A-Dot.

1st Quarter: I still can't get past the yellow jerseys. Seriously, what a bunch of posers. They just showed the replay of Dixon's INT. In a word: Atrocious.

1st Quarter (0-7): First play interception. Guess Dixon was confused by the yellow jersey on the opposing side of the field. Cal turns the TO into six - not a good start for the Ducks, especially on national TV.

Kickoff: Cal is wearing yellow! That's funny, their official school colors are blue and gold. I've never been a subscriber to the Eugene South stance that many fans have regarding Cal, but this changes everything. They couldn't be more blatant in their Duck envy.

Monthly Blog

With October rapidly approaching, I need to get a post in to fill the September blogging obligation.

But seriously, the past season was just not blog worthy for many reasons, mostly the fact that my inside access to the club was nonexistent. Now that it's over, and the winds of change are blowing at a gale force, the ATTR's future is suddenly burning bright.

Cheers to the Green Wiggle on his promotion and stay tuned for the return of the real Portland Timbers Football Club.

Victory!

My unannounced blogging strike is over - the Timbers have won a match! 1-0 over the Virginia Beach Mariners to be precise.

This has been a much more difficult season to cover/blog about than I ever could have imagined. Without the inside glimpse of the team I have been fortunate enough to gain over the past five years as a full-fledged member of the traveling party, it has been almost impossible to get any true read as to what has really been going on during the 11-match winless streak that ended tonight.

Not only do I not know what these guys are like as individuals, I can barely keep their names straight with 30-odd players wearing the Timbers' colors at one point or another this season.

But tonight, that doesn't matter. With their backs against the wall, the squad rallied and was able to grind out three points for the first time since mid-June. Hope has returned to PGE Park, where four matches remain. Four more chances to put a better, brighter face on a difficult season.

Well done.

Fresh Start

With my month-plus stint blogging about the Portland Timbers over at oregonlive.com now over, it's time to get back to the Road. My thanks to Bob Kellett for allowing me to fill in on the O-Live blog. As I attempted to keep a steady stream of Timbers-related material flowing, I gained a greater appreciation of Bob's talents and like many fans, I'm happy he's back behind the keyboard.

So what is to become of the ATTR? I'm not completely sure at this point. Clearly, with no true road trips for yours truly this season, the ATTR is a shell of its former self. For now, I'll be blogging about a variety of topics and personal happenings. In the event that the Ax leaves the Northwest again, the ATTR will resume based on its original premise. But, for now it will be whatever my mind decides to spew out.

This is a test...

Just oiling the ATTR keyboard as my fill-in blogging gig over at O-Live is about to come to an end...

Ax to the O-Live

Big win in Minny on Saturday. With my 3-year-old daughter's first wedding flower girl role that day, I have nothing to offer on the match other than I'm happy they won in Blaine, which had been a miserable spot to play and broadcast from for Portland over the years.

For those who haven't heard the news, I'll be blogging over at oregonlive.com while Bob Kellett is away at the World Cup. That will be a much more active blog than the ATTR has been this season - with the "to the Road" part of this blog out of the equation and all - so please stop by often.

However, the ATTR is looking forward to its first roadie of 2006, this Friday in Seattle.

Classic ATTR

Since my Minnesota passport has been revoked this season, I have no other choice but to relive the glory days of last season with a classic (use of the word in its loosest form - rerun would probably be more accurate) episode.

I used to be a big fan of The Fonz, so it's only appropriate that I too have now jumped the shark.

Ax to the Road: Mostly Cloudy with a Chance of Beer

Oral Surgery

Yes, you're not imagining this: The second of two ATTR entries in three days!

Thanks to a two-match homestand, I feel reconnected with the hometown 11 enough to sprinkle some thoughts and analysis. Undoubtedly, that connection will fade a bit as the squad jets off to St. Paul, Minnesota later this week, but for now I'm back in the Timber loop.

Big "must" win last night against Toronto thanks in large part to Oral Bullen's coming out party. A pinpoint setup to Kreamalmeyer followed by a finish worthy of a surgeon's touch for his first goal as a pro. The former Boys in Green (now white at home for '06) are set up nicely if they can snatch a point or better in Minny before back-to-back matches against the dreaded Seattle Sounders.

Surprised:Bullen's immediate effect on the match after coming on for Byron in the 50th ... Toronto's Rick Titus, who Portland desperately tried to acquire last year, was invisible on the back line for most of the match ... freak monsoon before the match, complete with thunder and lightning, appeared to be an omen, but was not.

Not Surprised:Portland took care of business against the bottom side in USL-1. The Timbers are young, but there are still enough veteran pros on the squad that were not going to let this one slip away ... that Toronto scored, considering they had gone 450 minutes without a goal to start the season it had to happen sooner or later.

Monday's big news is that three away matches have been added to the broadcast (I still can't bring myself to say "webcast") schedule this season. June 2 at Seattle, June 30 at Vancouver and July 22 at Seattle. Big props to Timber Brad Nicholson and Chris Agnello for making this happen.

A Post!

What's this? An actual post to Ax to the Road?!?

Well, sort of...

It's been difficult to come up with blog-worthy material since being relegated to "home' radio guy. I suppose the theme of ATTR could be changed, allowing for more logical and timely updates, but I'm not quite ready to give up complete hope that my trusty iBook will find its way to a USL city other than Portland some time this summer.

In the meantime. I need to practice blogging for an upcoming internet gig. So let's get to some thoughts about last night's match against Rochester.

Losing 1-0 to the top team in the USL is nothing to be alarmed at, and certainly was an improvement over last year's 5-nil beatdown at the hands of the Rhinos at PGE Park. The Timbers have got to start earning points soon, however, or it's going to be a long summer. Sunday's match against Toronto will complete one quarter of this year's league schedule and that's a hefty chunk when you stop to think about it.

Portland's first-half defense vs. Rochester was effective and the boys should be commended for executing the game plan, but that style can be brutal to watch. It was a clog fest by both sides, leading to a grand total of five shots combined - none dangerous.

I felt the Rhinos made the move of the match when they inserted Delicate for Dombrowski at halftime, pulling Menyongar back just a hair and going with what was essentially a 4-3-3, which the Ax Men failed to adjust to in time.

Luke added great energy as the Timbers' first sub, but unfortunately it was too little, too late.

Surprised:How balanced Rochester is. 5-0-0 (all on the road) to start the season is ridiculous. That said, I thought they would have pushed to attack more than they did ... Less than 4,000 at the old stadium on a Friday night was a bit of a letdown. Still better than most team's draw on a good night, but the park lacked it's usual energy ... Oral Bullen coming on as a sub despite not being listed on the team's official lineup card.

Not Surprised:Aaran Lines playing like the pro that he is. He's a different class and if healthy (he played hurt too much last season) will challenge for the USL assists crown.

One last thing... If you've listened to one of the webcasts thus far, I've got some good news. The audio quality should be increasing tenfold starting Sunday, May 22 vs. Toronto as we switch to a true web stream. I'm being assisted in the booth by UO student broadcaster and loyal Timbers' fan John Strong, who is helping me get a handle on the latest technology. If you're a fan of crackling crowd noise and random salsa music, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed and you can blame John for taking that away.

Blogger's Block

As the reality of the situation that I will not actually be taking the "Ax to the Road" in 2006, it hit me: What the fork am I going to blog about this season? After reading over some posts from last season, it's obvious that my traveling alter ego is much more creative with the keyboard than the homebody version. The ATTR is open to your suggestions.

My first firsthand impression of this year's squad this past weekend was positive. The Timbers earned a win and a draw in Match Nos. 2 & 3, but more importantly there was a different vibe surrounding the club at PGE Park. That's not to say there was a negative atmosphere in the past - far from it. It's hard for me to explain, but there was just a different kind of energy. With that, some thoughts on the matches...

Surprised:Portland shut down Vancouver's forwards and did not allow any significant counter-attack chances ... Lee Morrison stepped into the holding mid role and looked like he had been playing there his entire career ... Chad Bartlome scored the team's first goal of the season a mere four hours after being officially signed ... the Timbers held a Minnesota team that had exploded for four goals against Seattle to a single strike (and that was a gift).

Not Surprised:Hugo earned the club's first assist of 2006 ... nearly 9,000 fans showed their support over the two games ... Timber Jim did flips and sawed logs.

and the final answer is...

YES!

Well, for the most part. That is, all home matches with a window to select road games remaining slightly ajar. And one more thing - internet only.

But seriously, there are NO complaints here. This result took an incredible effort by the PTPR Machine, USL PR Rookie of the Year candidate Timber Brad Nicholson and others. Well done everyone!

The question, of course, is will Portland Timbers matches be on "the air" in 2006. After an agonizing offseason of uncertainty, I couldn't be more jacked up about keeping the broadcasting torch aflame for another campaign.

Here is the direct link to the Timbers broadcast page at Sportsjuice.com. The page includes the current schedule of webcasts, including Coventry City on July 8. The Miami/PR swing is definitely out, but other matches on the road may be added.

Until tomorrow night... Cheers!

Same Old Swangard

Match No. 1 is in the books and the result wasn't entirely unexpected, considering Portland's USL-1 history in B.C. and the absence of one Byron Alvarez, who has more goals against Canadian sides than any other country or territory as a member of the Timbers (seriously, look it up).

It was very strange to be on the listening end of the broadcast, and to follow that by scouring over other people's accounts of the match. I still feel completely in the dark as to the personality of the 2006 team, something that will need to change in a hurry if/when this booth jockey returns to the booth. Peter Schaad is a pro, so having Vancouver be the first match of the season to listen to certainly wasn't the end of the world.

A slight source of concern was Coach Agnello's postgame quote that he was "very proud of this team because when we went down a goal, they didn't collapse, didn't give up." I'm taking this more as glass-half-full coachspeak spin and hope there was never actually a fear that this version of the Timbers would possibly collapse just 17 minutes into a 28-game (2,520-plus minutes) season.

Surprised: Portland did not score a goal in its season opener ... Timber killer Jason Jordan did not score a goal for the 'Caps.

Not Surprised: Hugo got his first yellow card of 2006 against Vancouver ... Josh Saunders, by all accounts, was solid between the posts ... Jordan figured in the game's only goal (assist) ... former Timber Jeff Clarke was on the winning side against his old team for the 861st time ... Swangard was sold out.

Ten Questions

Since I'm stuck, mumbling and grumbling to myself as I anxiously await Saturday's webcast of the Timbers/Whitecaps with Vancouver's Peter Schaad at the controls, I might as well share my thoughts on the season's first road trip, since that was the original premise of this blog. With no firsthand knowledge this time around, I can't help but wonder what will take place when the bus begins to roll up I-5 this afternoon...

Will Vern be back in the role of coach captain and will he be wearing his magic vest?

Will the rides first viewing of Van Wilder begin before or after the bus leaves the parking lot?

Which player(s) will forget his passport/green card/birth certificate?

How many times will Earl's be mentioned to the new guys on the ride up?

Will Vern speed away from the border again, setting off the alarm?

How many extra security guards will the Whitecaps employ to keep an eye on the Timbers Army?

How many goals will Timbers' killer Jason Jordan score?

How many annoying celebrations by Alfredo Valente will the Army have to endure?

How many cheap shots will Hugo recieve and deliver over the course of 90 minutes on the Swangard pitch?

Will Chris Agnello sit or stand for the bulk of the match?

Will Gavin be confused for a member of a children's musical troupe?

Oh, there's plenty more, but I do have a real job to get back to.

RIP: JT, Bobby, Romer, Tony, Benny, Winters, Aaron, Aaran, Sam, Dizzy, Higgins, Fadi, Shawn, Jarrod and Shonna

Ax to the Radio?

Fans of the Timbers and yours truly are hopeful that the cliche' No news is good news holds true when contemplating the future of the team's presence on the airwaves/internet, not to mention this blog. Trust me when I tell you that the powers that be over at PGE Park want the matches on the air, but have not - as of yet - finalized a plan to make that happen. Will a decision be made before the home opener? We'll have to wait and see.

What I do know for sure is that Saturday's season opener in Vancouver, which is just over 48 hours away as of this post, will have an empty visiting radio booth for the first time in six years. The Accent Inn of Burnaby will have one less bed to make and Earl's Restaurant will lose out on one person's entire per diem (and then some). The Roots outlet store up the road from the hotel will retain at least one more article of clothing in its inventory than usual on a Timbers/Whitecaps weekend. Canadian Subways will take a hit, etc., etc. Woe is me.

The ATTR will sit idle, but its author will attempt to pull in the home webcast via www.whitecapsfc.com. To dispense another cliche' in closing, let's hope this will be The exception rather than norm.

Two Weeks and a Day

Hard to believe, but the Timbers' opener is just over two weeks away. My training camp has been going well (down five pounds as of this post with about seven more to go) and I even got a PGE Park fix by attending the Seattle Mariners' exhibition on March 31.

For a minute or two early on, the energy resembled the Sunderland match from '05. After seeing a sold out crowd turn up on a rainy, cold night to watch one Major League team play its regulars for all of three innings, I'm convinced there has never been a clearer sign that Portland sports fans are desperate for anything other than the NBA. Hopefully, the Axemen can also continue to capitalize on this trend.

Great to see the signing of Edwin the other day. If he progresses, he won't be here long, but I'll take him for as many matches as possible.

The Wedge

The 6-3-1 Flying Wedge
Originally uploaded by Slax.

If the Portland Timbers soccer team was a salad - and regular readers of the ATTR know my affinity for quality roughage - it clearly would be a crisp, cold chunk of iceberg lettuce with roquefort dressing.

With yesterday's signing of midfielder Luke Kreamalmeyer, the squad now has 12 players under contract for 2006 - four of whom are not defenders or goalkeepers - and can now implement my patented Flying Wedge system of play (a 6-3-1).

One month until the first kick of '06.

Spring Training

Timbers' training camp does not officially open until shortly after April Fool's Day, but I'm no fool when it comes to fitness self-analysis and decided to begin my own preseason regimen a little more than a week before the team. Talking for more than two hours at a stretch for an entire soccer season can be grueling work and getting in game shape is no easy endeavor. Yeah right.

Actually, there is a different reason for my self-imposed spring training. I have a theory about why so many sportscasters and journalists are often times not trusted or respected by athletes. Think about it. You've just pushed your body so hard you want to hurl, knowing you'll be feeling the aftereffects for hours if not days, and some sloppy, out-of-shape media type who has spent most of the night eating popcorn and brownies in the press room, asks a stupid question or makes some crack about a lack of effort. After being hit by this revelation early in my career, I made it my quest to be the anti Tight Jeans.

First order of business was to determine what form of exercise to employ. After much deliberation, I opted to dust off my trusty bike and head out for a ride along the Willamette from my new home base in Eugene. That way I could kill multiple birds with one stone: Listen to some recently downloaded tunes on the iPod, get in a little cardio workout and do some world class people watching. For music, I went with live Dead - specifically some tracks off Dick's Picks Vol. 36 - in an attempt to acquire an authentic Eugene cycling vibe. Real hippies didn't tool around on Rockhoppers while cranking their MP3 players, but this was the best I could do.

It's about a 10-12 minute ride from my house to the nearest entry point of "the trail" as it's commonly referred to here and Jerry and Co. were barely past the midpoint of Playing in the Band. Once on the spacious asphalt path, 21st gear was the most common choice as I whizzed past dog walkers, baby walkers, joggers, lost souls and cyclists just out for a casual cruise. The real bikers, with spandex, camel-back water devices and carbon fiber wheels, blew by me like I was riding a Big Wheel (or more appropriate for this blog - The Green Machine). It's a pretty cool place to ride and over the course of 45 minutes or so you can see people from practically every different walk of life. From teens with dyed blue hair to older folks with actual blue hair, the trail has it all. That's one of the unique things about a college town, where you can witness a guy with a two-foot grey beard tending to his crops in a co-op garden while a sorority girl in a $200 track suit runs by, jogging off last night's hangover or buying herself a few extra calories for the evening ahead. I must admit riding past the guy in the garden while the band played He's Gone did kind of trip me out.

Twenty-four hours later I'm no worse for wear, which means that I either didn't push myself very hard or I'm not as out of shape as previously thought. Even though the weather was a bit on the cool side, spring is definitely in the air and it won't be long before Portland again takes the Ax to the Road.

Time to Ramp Up

Good God. Enough dead blog air already!

With the season barely more than a month away, it's time to oil up the fingers in preparation for what I hope will be season number six with the Boys in Green. Honestly, I don't really have a prepared statement at this time, but my lack of blog entries has been eating away at me like a massive guilt trip.

I keep telling myself this blog was intended to be strictly about life on the road with the Timbers, which is a seasonal thing, but there is little I despise more in life than stale web pages. Needless to say, I've got to come up with a better system or some added energy for offseason posting. Thank goodness for Bob Kellett's blog, keeping everyone up to date with the real news surrounding the Axe Men.

Returning to the Rain

As odd as the people and overall lifestyle are down here in La La Land, it's hard to ignore the weather. Four days here - or any other warm and sunny place for that matter - and the return trip to Oregon can be kind of a downer. I guess we more than make up for it with humidity-free and bug-free summers.

Well, much to my disappointment, there were no real blog-worthy events today. I spent about two hours in a mall killing time before checking in at the airport and purchased a last-minute x-mas gift with some excess meal money. Travel and per diem in the Pac-10 are just a smidge better than the USL, as you can probably imagine.

Next week, the ATTR is off to Boulder, Colo., for a little skiing over New Year's. Until then, enjoy the Holiday weekend...

Silicone or Saline?

The ATTR has stood silent for too long, and since I'm back in travel mode and the Timbers have just signed their new coach/GM, what better time than now to get back on the blog?

Today's edition comes to you from warm and sunny Venice Beach, California, where quality people watching is off the charts. I'm down here with my other team - the Oregon Ducks - but the ATTR will never be about them. Even if I wanted too, I'm sure there would be some compliance issue, so best to avoid that altogether.

Anyway, I'll be on the road quite a bit from now until March, and will look to be a bit more prompt in updating this during the "hot stove" season.

Back to the beach... This is my first trip to the Governator's old stomping grounds and one of the first natives I saw along the boardwalk was a greased-up muscle dude in a stars and stripes speedo. He was just standing there posing with - I assume - the intention of impressing the many augmented ladies strolling by. There must be an abundance of people without traditional employment, because I was amazed by the amount of folks just hanging out on a Tuesday afternoon. I think the only people working in this town must be plastic surgeons. I went to high school in a beach town in Maine and my friends who worked down on the beach used to play a game called "babysitter or mother." Here in VB, that game has surely morphed into "silicone or saline."

Back in Portland, the Timbers announced the hiring of Chris Agnello as their new boss - a move that probably surprised a few of the locals. I figured out that I was out of the running when the press conference was called for a day that I was going to be out of town. That's probably for the best since the blog would have to get a lot blander if I was running the real show.

Well, I don't want to overdo it, this being the first post in ages. Got to save up some material for all that down time in the airport tomorrow.

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

There is something about air travel and airports that inspire blogging. Maybe, just maybe, that has something to do with the amount of "down" time not typically available during the average day at home or work.

This post originates from an Alaska Airlines jet on the tarmac in Portland, waiting to depart for San Jose. My other life, outside of the Timbers, is that of a college sports information director, which also requires quite a bit traveling, so there is a chance that Ax to the Road will have regular entries during the offseason if I find enough interesting things to relate.

For those loyal readers of ATTR, you may be curious to know that Wolfgang Puck's Tortilla Soup is now available in cans at your local supermarket. I have to say, while overpriced, it tastes just like the soup at Wolfie's O'Hare based restaurant.

•••

The early morning travel is complete, having arrived in San Jose at 8:30 a.m. I'm at the HP Pavilion, home of the San Jose Sharks, and just peaked in on practice. The reason for this trip is Pac-10 Media Day, something that could have clearly taken place without my presence, but I'm not one to pass on complimentary beverages and lunch.

Cheers Jim and Bobby

A simple chime to signal an incoming e-mail. And while the news release that caused it wasn't entirely unexpected, it still set me back for a moment or two as I read the exit notice of a pair of "New" Timbers' originals in Jim Taylor and Bobby Howe. With Timber Collin Romer jumping ship to the Blazers a few weeks ago, the '06 club is definitely going to have a different feel.

For the five seasons I've been with the team, the constants have been JT, Bobby, athletic trainer Tony Guyette, Gavin, Benny, Winters and myself. I haven't talked to Tony yet, but by the time training camp rolls around next spring, the majority of that group could very well be history.

Bobby was easily the best interview of any coach I've had to work with throughout the course of my career. A broadcaster's dream, I could ask him one question and he'd give a three minute answer covering every thing I wanted to know. I think his departure will be good for his health and happiness in the long run. I've often wondered (this season in particular) what it must be like for someone of his soccer pedigree to suffer through USL First Division travel. I know a lot of people may have disagreed with some of his personnel decisions and tactic over the years, but I have no doubt that his tenure was good for the organization.

That holds true for JT as well, and I was happy to see that he will still be an advisor to the club in the future. Nowhere will you find a hipper GM in professional sports (with Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein as the potential exception) than JT. The fact that he was able to withstand 126 different ownership groups in six years speaks volumes about his value to the team. But more importantly, who's going to burn me CD copies of the latest and greatest alt-rock albums? Jim, my iPod will never be the same.

If you're reading this post with a beverage near by, join me in toasting the two biggest Timbers' fans of us all.

Controlling the Controllable

In an effort to protect the youthful eyes that view this blog, I'll refrain from actually typing the words that immediately come to mind following tonight's season-ending defeat to the dreaded Seattle Sounders. In case you're curious most of them contain four letters and one long one starts with M.

The day began pleasantly enough, with a brisk bus trip up I-5 led by our longtime coach captain on these jaunts northward, Vern. Now, on the ride home, Vern's night vision is causing us to drive by brail (riding the turtle bumps), making it virtually impossible to type. But back to the day...

As has been the case on many a trip in the First Division over the years, our hotel was much more mo than ho, but as we were only using it as a pregame napping pad, it's hard to complain too much.

Lunch turned into breakfast at Shari's with Timber Shonna and Timber Diane - Pancakes all around. Sports on T.V. and lounging followed, leading up to the eventual match. A pleasant enough Sunday - until five minutes into the game. That's when Garrett Marcum was whistled for a phantom foul after a Seattle player tripped over his own boot The result: A free kick that produced a Sounders' goal. A horrendous second yellow card on Aaran Lines after his clean tackle put Portland down a man for good, 27 minutes in, and the season was history.

Gavin was quoted in Sunday's Oregonian as saying, "We can control the controllable." A strange, but ultimately wise statement considering the referee's impact on the flow of the game.

Will this blog now be history? I hope not. It's been a fun exercise that has helped pass the time on the road. The offseason should provide ample to to retool and improve Ax to the Road for '06.

Booth Return on the Horizon

There aren't many things more annoying or irritating than a stale web page, so while I'm not physically on the road with the Timbers, I'm with them in spirit and can only imagine how many precious blogging opportunities a week in Virginia Beach would have produced.

With the seriousness of hurricane Katrina, it's probably best that I didn't waste energy on a humorous attempt at a blog originating from the Southeast. Especially now that we know there have been people stranded in flood waters for four days, deaths due to lack of medical supplies, horrific violence, etc. Is it really 2005 in the United States of America? Can our federal and state governments really not be sophisticated enough to execute rescue efforts in a major US city for four days? Planes crash into buildings filled with corporate Americans and action (as it most certainly should have) takes place immediately. A hurricane destroys an entire city and ravages people in three states, and it takes four days for the National Guard to arrive? Maybe those people we all think are nuts for building bomb shelters and bunkers in their back yards are the smart ones after all.

Not much of a Timbers' related post here, I know. Just had to vent...

On a happier note, my self-imposed exodus from the broadcast booth will end next Thursday at PGE Park. It's been rough having to miss this last stretch of games and I can't wait to get back on the mic as the Lads march toward a postseason berth.

Mostly Cloudy with a Chance of Beer

Mostly Cloudy with a Chance of Beer
Originally uploaded by Slax.

Sign me up for the Dark Side. I'm not trading in my Timbers Army scarf and t-shirt, but the Thunder's support group, the Dark Clouds, are people after my own heart. Upon arrival at James Griffith stadium tonight, I was presented with a cooler containing a massive jug of Town Hall Gold, a local microbrew. Evidently, the blog's mention of sportswriters in Montreal drinking all of the Heines inspired the Clouds to make sure that didn't happen in the great state of Minnesota. What a surprise, and what a treat. Let me take a five second break from typing to have another pull of the Gold and toast the Dark Clouds. Ahhhhhhhh. When the plane takes off at 8:11 tomorrow morning, I will officially have left my heart in Minny-sotah. I ask the Army to send positive vibes to the Clouds for their quarterfinal Open Cup match at Kansas City coming up. Take the Wiz out of those wankers!

Despite the late goal tonight, this was an outstanding trip for the Boys in Green. This was a barometer match for Portland to determine if the wins against Seattle and Montreal were for real or just a fluke, and the survey said: Absolutely not a fluke.

The folks here at the Kelly Inn also appreciated this visit by the Timbers. The last team that stayed here - none other than Major League Soccer's Colorado Rapids - urinated in the bar and threw up on the patio after being disgraced 4-1 by the Thunder. I say the Rapids should be relegated to the first division and Portland elevated to MLS.

The 5:15 a.m. wake-up call forces this entry to come to an end. Cheers!

The Green Wiggle

Warning: If you don't have young kids, you may have no idea how funny this is.

Honestly, I couldn't make this stuff up. The Wiggles are here in St. Paul this weekend and some star struck guests at our hotel were convinced they were in the presence of the Aussie performers on Thursday night in the lounge. One of the guests finally went up to the table in question and asked if they were part of the group. According to the description given by the server who was telling the story to me (not knowing I was also with the Timbers), "they" were none other than Gavin Wilkinson and Bobby Howe. I nearly choked on my Nachos.

Match day is finally here and the lads are training at the moment. The bench will be very thin tonight with Gavin (suspended), Poltl (personal) and Thompson (Sunderland trial) all unavailable. The Timbers have been playing a 4-4-2 since the debacle in Kelowna, but will have to get very creative to employ that formation against the Thunder.

MOA Musings

Old Movie Props Put to Good Use
Originally uploaded by Slax.

If there were a professional mall walkers tour, the championship event would surely be held at Minnesota's Mall of America, where this blog originates from. I just finished circling all three levels and think I may need a hip replacement. My options for this off day were sitting at the hotel watching the PGA Championship or taking advantage of my possession of the keys to a 15-passenger van and hitting the road. Outside of some unintentional exercise, I'm not overly thrilled with my decision. This place - known to locals as the MOA - is massive and mall-like, and that's about it. There is an amusement park in the middle with multiple rides that will assist you with depositing your lunch directly back into the food court, but I guess I just expected more. Three Abercrombie & Finch stores and no Fashionable Male? C'mon. I must admit - I was tempted to get an Aqua Massage and have a few shots at The Oxygen Bar.

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. Our hotel lobby to hotel lobby trek was 10 hours, a time Lance Armstrong would have been pleased with on his bike. Adding to the Bad News Bears feel of this season's Timbers, our vehicles here in the Twin Cities consist of a Buick LaSabre sedan and Nissan SUV along with the previously mentioned beast of a Ford van - the worst handling rig I've ever had the pleasure to drive. I'm looking to purchase an orange jump suit so that fellow motorists will think I'm a prison work crew member on the lamb.

From the "important news that fans are actually interested in" department, the team trained this morning and the 14 players available for tomorrow's match all appear healthy and ready to go.

Soup Du Jour

Resident Soup Aficionado
Originally uploaded by Slax.

Oh, travel in the First Division always gets old. We were out of the hotel by 6:15 a.m. (Eastern) in order to catch an 8:40 a.m. flight to Chicago. About 20 minutes before our flight was to board, we noticed the gate next to ours was boarding for Minneapolis - a direct flight to Minneapolis on a different airline. A cruel joke as we have more than two hours to kill in the Chicago and most likely won't get the the hotel in St. Paul until 4 p.m. On the plus side, we've probably spent a total of a couple of days in O'Hare this season and know where all of the Starbucks are, hot to mention Wolfgang Puck's, today's lunch spot.

We opted for Wolfie's since Paul Conway had been talking non-stop about the tortilla soup he had there on Tuesday for the past two days. My lunch mates were Conway, Tony Guyette and the two hobbits, formerly known as Kiwis before the Lord of the Rings producers bought New Zealand. The soup was solid, but Puck's portions were in between a cup and a bowl, about three or four spoonfuls shy of total satisfaction.

Aaran Lines spoke of his plans to pen the screenplay for the Scot Thompson story, and we hashed out a rough script. In Lines' movie, Thompson goes from the USL first division to the World Cup in less than a year's time. He ends up sticking with Sunderland (following his current trial that begins this weekend) and works his way on to the pitch for an English Premier League match. As an EPL player, he is immediately recruited by Bruce Arena to play on the U.S. National Team, where he helps lead the Yanks into the quarterfinals of the 2006 World Cup in Germany. Fortune, fame and a spice girl marriage follow, capping an improbable journey that begins (on screen) with an overnight, 10-hour bus ride following a 4-0 loss in Kelowna B.C., and ends on football's grandest stage. Scotty II, the sequel, will concentrate in the pitfalls of instant fame, a variety of scandals, infidelity, aging ungracefully, etc.

Big Win

Big Win
Originally uploaded by Slax.

As poor as the Timbers played for more than a month stretch entering late July, they have been just as impressive over the past two matches. Handing first-place Montreal its first home loss of 2005 was easily the highlight of the season to this point.

There was beer in the press box and I was planning on grabbing one for the road to celebrate, but the two newspaper writers had a collection of empties around their computers and had wiped out the entire supply before the final whistle. Had to settle for a brew in the room and will call it an early night with a 5:45 a.m. wakeup call in store for tomorrow. Until Minnesota, au revoir.

Live From Claude-Robillard

Roll 107 - 5
Originally uploaded by Slax.

The radio pregame show is in the air and while I play a taped interview with Bobby Howe, here is a shot from the pressbox. Great setup here in Montreal. Looks like the rain has let up as the match gets set to begin.

Lunch Hour Lounging in Montreal

Lunch Hour Lounging in Montreal
Originally uploaded by Slax.

I skipped out on going to training this morning, opting instead to cruise around town in the daylight. Montreal is right up there with Vancouver in a battle for coolest travel destination in the First Division (other than Portland, of course). Unfortunately, we are spending the two ensuing off days after tonight's match in St. Paul, Minn., rather than here. C'est la vie.

Looks like the Timbers will employ nearly the same lineup tonight as they did against Seattle. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if Gavin starts or plays significant minutes since he is suspended for Saturday's match at Minny (yellow/red card points). Fadi was heckled by a customs agent at the airport who said "you know (the Impact) have only lost one game, right?" One point would be sufficient against this team.

In case anyone is wondering about the random photos of the stuffed cat in the recent photos link, that is my daughter's toy that she asked me to take along. She calls him Puss in Boots, even though he is sans footwear, and I told her I'd e-mail her pictures of him from the trip. I got more than a few stares as I propped him up for a photo op on a busy sidewalk this afternoon.

Red Light Chicken

Chillin' at the Holiday Inn
Originally uploaded by Slax.

My browser just crashed at the end of a post, so now I've got to try and recreate it. Ugh!

The executive staff and I went in search of a quality meal and passed by Chinatown and several adult oriented establishments just blocks from our hotel. There is definitely no shortage of activity on an Tuesday night in Montreal. We settled on a rotisserie place that had four kinds of chicken soup on the menu, not to mention every other chicken dish under the sun. I had - you guessed it - chicken. A hot chicken sandwich with gravy to be precise. We must have looked like total tourists, gawking at the signs and seedy shops, while the natives didn't even seem to notice on their way to clubs, restaurants, etc. More exploring is on tap for tomorrow, our last and only full day here in Quebec...

Swank Digs in Montreal

Door to door (PDX arrival to our hotel in Montreal) was just over 11.5 hours, but alas the Timbers are in French Canada for the first time. They must think highly of Ax to the Road here in Quebec, as I've been given what is essentially a one bedroom apartment complete with full kitchen, two TVs, etc. We've all seen the commercials, but who knew that the Holiday Inn Express would be this nice? Crazy.

It's nearly 10 p.m. local time, so this entry will be cut short as I go in search of a dining establishment on St. Catherine's St.

Not much to report from leg No. 1 of today's journey - PDX to Chicago O'Hare. I missed a golden opportunity to catch the trip's first unintentional comedy moment, when I discovered my camera batteries were dead. Lee Morrison was napping on the plane with a piece of paper dangling from his lip, which resembled a Lucy. I've since purchased new AAs here in the airport to make sure that won't happen again.

Back on Blog

And here we go again... Another road quest begins with the Boys in Green, with stops in Montreal and Minneapolis/St. Paul. Sadly or thankfully, depending on ones feelings with regard to these odd musings, this will be my final road trip of the season unless the Timbers qualify for the playoffs. A new job and two real estate closings in late August are preventing me from making the week-long trip through the Southeast later this month. Portland soccer afficianado Loren Wohlgemuth will be filling the headset in my absence. I was really looking forward to spending a week in Allen Iverson's hometown of Hampton Roads (Virginia Beach), but I guess I'll survive.

We're on American Airlines to Montreal this morning. So far, so slow. It took nearly 40 minutes to check in and now the flight is delayed for a half-hour. All this to climb on board an MD-80 jet, the same model that crashed into the Pacific Ocean a couple of years back because of a design flaw in the tail. Good times. We have a skeleton crew on this trek due to injuries, etc. There should be enough players for tomorrow's match, but if there is dead air on Saturday's broadcast, assume I've been activiated and playing at left back against Minnesota.

Oiling the Keyboard

Consider this a practice post as I try to prepare for the first true ATTR in nearly a month. I need to perform this and other various exercises, like trying to remember my passwords, what photo site I liked the best, yada yada yada. It will undoubtedly feel like I'm blogging for the very first time. Oh that faraway, magical night at a hotel in Rochester, N.Y....

I assume they have the internet in Montreal, but Quebec is a very unique place, so I wouldn't be entirely shocked if I struggle for conectivity. The entire provice is bilingual, but it was amazing to me upon my first visit to Montreal how many natives selectively forget how to speak English if you need directions, etc. I'm planning on putting my years of eighth and ninth grade French to good use: Je m'appelle Andy! Pouvez-vous me dire où je peux observer les bois de construction défaire votre équipe du football?

Jusqu'à mardi, adieu.

This is What It's All About

Okay, so the Timbers are not on the road. But tonight's match vs. Sunderland has got to be worthy of a quick blog. A record 15,376 at the stadium, 0-0 draw for Portland against a team from the top soccer league in the world? A missed penalty kick was the only thing keeping the home side from exclaiming We Can. Great stuff. I've always understood how fortunate I am to be behind the mic for a professional sports team, and nights like this just hammer it home.

In addition to the excellent crowd, it may have been a record listenership on the internet tonight as well. I received e-mails during the match from South Korea (two), England (several), Scotland, Wales, Australia and Hong Kong, not to mention New Jersey, Texas and California. All told, an amazing night and one Portland should be extremely proud of.

Cruel and Unusual

As if suffering through a 4-2 road loss at Seattle Friday night wasn't enough, we had to bus up to Chilliwack, B.C., hitting the pillow at 3 a.m. I had to be up by 9:45 for a radio interview on the Whitecaps' station, so those six-plus hours was likely the only quality rest I'll get until the bus rolls into Portland around 10 a.m. Sunday. Bus driver Bill will take us as far as the border tonight, where one of his fellow drivers will board the coach and haul us the rest of the way home. Can't wait for that ride!

My room at the Best Western Rainbow Country Inn smells like bacon grease, and not in a good way. Time to get packed up and head down to Tim Horton's for a coffee for the road. We should arrive in Kelowna, B.C. around 3:30 p.m. in advance of the 7 p.m. showdown with the Whitecaps.

...

No luck fiinding a connection today, so this blog edition won't be very timely. We arrived in Kelowna and had an hour and 20 minutes to eat, sleep, etc. Most of us chose the dining route and Jim Taylor and I checked into a hotel room for all of five minutes to change clothes. This is easily the second toughest travel in the five years I've been associated with the Timbers. Number one (2003 season) was flying from El Paso to Milwaukee on the day of the match and driving straight from the airport to the field. That result wasn't pretty, I just hope it's a different story this time.

...

Well, that was wishful thinking, the result was actually worse at 4-0. Maybe I was overestimating the ability of a sleep-deprived team with 14 healthy field players to withstand horrific travel and two matches in 23 hours.

The bus arrived at our meeting place at the Delta Park Best Western at 7:30 a.m., capping arguably the most miserable road trip in modern Timbers' history. Looking on the bright side, that was the final trip of the regular season involving a bus, which severely limits the ability to conduct a timely blog (no place to get online, et al).

Killin' Time

If mall walking ever becomes an Olympic sport, watch out. The Portland Timbers will have a leg up on the competition in terms of training and preparation.

As is too often the case on these road trips when we have to take off right after an evening match, the team is forced out of their hotel early and has to kill time before heading to the stadium. In Seattle, that usually means a trip to the mall in Southcenter, which is where this blog entry is originating from. The other option is staying on the bus and watching Van Wilder for the 14,000th time. Today, I chose the mall, figuring I could spend time surfing the net and/or blogging. Looks like I will be able to do both as I found power and WIFI at the Nordstrom cafe.

Ax to the Road has officially hired its second employee, none other than Portland Timbers' general manager Jim Taylor. JT has agreed to be the official blogtographer of ATTR for a salary of one Starbucks Americano per road trip. Of course payment won't be possible until we get the accounting department up and running, but that hasn't phased him. He was so stoked to put his lens to the test this weekend that he forgot to pack socks for the trip and is currently shopping for some here at the mall. You can see some of his Day 1 handywork by clicking the recent photos link.

I really want to order a coffee, but the line here is nonstop and I'm waiting for an opening...

Timber Collin Romer, Portland's crack PR guy, is on this leg of our two-match trip. I may try him out for a little play-by-play on the radio broadcast tonight in the event that I ever go on injured reserve. He won't be going with us to Kelowna, B.C., as the Canadian authorities saw photos of him dancing in downtown Vancouver from the last trip and want to question him as to what his motivation was for attempting a "break off" against a Canadian guy.

Got my coffee and it's excellent.

Also along for the ride is my two-year old daughter's rubber duck, Ducky. He was a last minute addition as I was leaving the house yesterday, when she insisted that I take him and that he would enjoy going on a bus. So far, he has no complaints.

Blogtographer Jim Taylor catches two former Pilots having a pre-match snack
Originally uploaded by Slax.

Live from Qwest Field

The Cali Crew takes in the U.S. vs. Cuba Match
Originally uploaded by Slax.

Time to dust off the trusty iBook keyboard, stretch out the fingers and get back in the blogger's seat. It seems like a year since the last Timbers' road trip - four home matches to be exact - and Ax to the Road needs an update in the worst way. The blogger's seat reference was actually a lie, as I'm standing at a table in the swanky club level of Qwest Field in Seattle, looking for a WIFI connection as the U.S. National Team is stumbling on the pitch outside to Cuba. Of course, just as I type that, Clint Dempsey scores to tie the match at 1-1, although it's a gift as he was well offside.

I'm hooked into the Seattle Seahawks wireless internet, so this blog should be up in no time. I feel like Tom Cruise's character in Mission Impossible. Well, that might be a bit over the top, but it's cool none the less. Tomorrow Land at Disneyland really missed the boat on what the future (now) would be like, eh?

We bussed up today to take in a pair of Gold Cup matches prior to Friday's showdown with the Seattle Sounders. Then it's on to Kelowna B.C., for a game against the Vancouver Whitecaps, followed by an all-night bus ride of the 12-hour variety back to P-town on Sunday a.m. Hopefully, this whirlwind will generate a few points in the standings for the Boys in Green, as they need to put the last month of results squarely behind them.

A poor showing by Sam's Army tonight at Qwest. I think the Timbers' Army members in attendance out-number the alleged top support group in the U.S.A. The Starfire Soccer Complex - the site of tomorrow's match against the Sounders - will get to experience the TA first hand for the first time. Let's just hope there aren't any posers who decide to throw flares and then hide in bathrooms.

Cuba is now a man down. Things are looking up for the U.S., so I'd better get back out to the action.